i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All I want is dick and wine.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
