can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This toilet bowl is my home.
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