YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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