oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
