If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize