I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
