final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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