Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
