It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
