I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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