He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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