I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
