i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
