sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
