nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
