Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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