hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
