hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize