Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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