Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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