what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
