whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize