You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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