idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can text with my tongue
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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