dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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