OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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