I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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