Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
