please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
