There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
All the doctor said was why
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
