Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize