just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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