How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
