It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
