Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
