You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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