This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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