the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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