never play flip cup with pint glasses
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
