Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
