He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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