Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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