the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
