everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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