the day after is always just damage control
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
