do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
