the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh god it's open bar.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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