Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
