as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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