Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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