I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
