You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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