The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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