Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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