never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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