ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
3 2 1 whiskey
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
