the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
