He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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