I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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