I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize