my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
