this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
