Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
