i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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