she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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