If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
