Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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